EXT. NEW YORK CITY - PARK AVENUE - MORNING

An air conditioning unit sticks out the side of a tall Manhattan apartment building. A big logo on it reads AIR CORP. It hums.

Zooming out, we see that it is one of hundreds of ACs on this building, all sticking out precipitously from their respective windows. All humming.

Zooming out further, we see that this whole block of tall buildings is dotted with window AC units. All hum loudly, like a swarm of bees.

INT. SHARON'S CAR

We're inside an expensive sedan. The low murmur of news radio fades in.

SHARON

Turn this up.

Sharon (40s) sits in the back of the car, typing into her smartphone as they sit in traffic on the highway. New York's skyline in the distance. Her driver turns the knob on the radio. Sharon puts her phone down for a second to listen.

DIANE

(on the radio)

In other news, today is the first national "Take In Your Air Conditioner Day." Fall is here so close those windows, bring in your AC unit. Save some electricity, and our planet.

MIKE

(on the radio)

"Take In Your Air Conditioner Day." That's not a name I'd like to say three times fast. But important stuff, Diane. Our planet, huh? And speaking of the climate, it's just about time for the weather...

Sharon presses some buttons on her phone to make a call. She holds it up to her ear.

SHARON

(to driver)

Turn that down.

The driver turns down the radio.

EXT. PARK AVENUE SIDWALK

Joe (30s) walks hurriedly down the sidewalk, buttoning his shirt as he goes. His phone starts to ring, and he scrambles for it inside his briefcase, without breaking stride.

JOE

Sorry, Sharon, I'll be at the office in a minute.

INT. SHARON'S CAR

SHARON

Not now, Joe. I heard a radio story on the "Take In Your Air Conditioner Day" activation and they made not one single mention of Air Corp. None. What fucking use is a fake holiday if we don't even get coverage from it?

EXT. PARK AVENUE SIDWALK

Joe has stopped to tie his shoe. He's kneeling to do that, with his phone notched between his head and shoulder.

JOE

It's more of... a movement, a message. It's implicit.

INT. SHARON'S CAR

SHARON

Just get them to say our goddamn name. Or, actually, give us an interview. Today.

Sharon hangs up and resumes firing off emails.

EXT. PARK AVENUE SIDWALK

Joe finishes tying his shoe, stands up, and takes his phone back into his hands. He starts walking down the street, blasting out emails - to news stations, reporters. He's almost jogging, head down into his phone, when -

An air conditioner slams onto the sidewalk with a thud, sending dust and rubble everywhere.

Joe's head whips up from his phone. He freezes. The AC has made a crater in the sidewalk. The Air Corp logo is printed prominently on the unit.

Joe looks up. From a high up window we can hear...

WOMAN IN PARK AVENUE APARTMENT

Oh my god. Oh my god.

(yelling down to Joe)

Are you okay?

Joe gives himself a little shake. He brushes the dust off his sleeves.

JOE

(yelling up to woman)

Fine! All good.

Joe resumes walking, sending emails.

EXT. PARK AVENUE APARTMENT - WINDOW ON THE 14TH FLOOR

A man comes to the window to examine his air conditioning unit. He tries to pull the AC unit inside without opening the window. No use. So, he opens the window a notch. The AC teeters on the ledge. He pulls at it again, no use. So, with one hand gripping the AC, he pushes the window all the way open.

The AC starts to tilt off the ledge. The man grabs at it. He gets both his hands on it, but it's a losing battle. It slowly slips from his grip and starts to fall.

We can see Joe approaching on the sidewalk far below.

The unit accelerates menacingly down the building.

Joe is sunk into his emails. He doesn't see it.

The unit is falling so fast it's a blur.

Joe looks up when he starts to hear a woosh.

In slow motion, Joe sees the AC unit hit another pedestrian on the head, two steps in front of him. The pedestrian screams before getting entirely flattened. There is barely anything left of the casualty - just an arm sticking out from the bulky AC, which, again, has Air Corp embossed proudly on its side.

Joe screams. He looks up and sees the man in the window.

JOE

(yelling up)

Can you call an ambulance? I have to get to work.

The guy in the window stares with his mouth hanging open.

INT. WZBX RADIO NEWSROOM

LINDSAY (20s), an assistant producer, mans the phones. We can see MIKE (40s) and DIANE (40s) behind glass talking in the studio. The programming plays on low volume over the newsroom speakers. Lindsay has two wired telephones up to her ears, and she's scribbling notes on a pad. It sounds like every phone in the office is ringing.

RACHEL, the head producer, comes over.

RACHEL

What's going on here, Lindsay?

LINDSAY

I think it's a joke? I hope it's a joke.

RACHEL

Jokes can be content. What are they saying?

LINDSAY

It's... air conditioners. Air conditioners that are killing people. Hundreds, maybe?

RACHEL

That's my kind of story.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET

We look out over a city in the midst of crisis. AC's are dropping from buildings left and right. People are running around screaming on the streets. A corner bodega is stuffed with people who refuse to step foot outside. A woman, fed up, squeezes her way out to the street, and is promptly struck down by an air conditioner that falls from the sky.

A man's leg is pinned to the sidewalk by a massive Air Corp unit. He pulls and pulls but his leg won't come out.

Two toddlers sit in a stroller crying. Behind them, their mother's head has been pushed clean off her neck by a falling AC. Her headless body is still upright, hands still gripping the stroller.

Ambulances and cars are left abandoned in the street, incapable of driving over the carnage of metal and plastic and bodies. The roofs of some vehicles are smashed in by ACs.

Joe cowers under an awning. He's on the phone with Sharon.

JOE

They want to talk to you now.

INT. SHARON'S CAR

Sharon is still in her car on the highway, just outside the city. There's standstill traffic, but she has no idea why.

SHARON

Great, put me on.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET

Joe looks out at the chaos.

JOE

Now?

SHARON

(on phone)

Yes.

JOE

First I think we need to talk about what's going on here.

SHARON

(on phone)

We've talked about it enough Joe. I know what the deal is. ACs, the environment. We're good people. The planet's going to be fine. Blah blah. I'll just call that number you texted.

Sharon hangs up. An air conditioner drops on the sidewalk a few inches from Joe. He jumps back from it.

INT. WZBX RADIO NEWSROOM - THE STUDIO

Mike and Diane are sweating from the rapid-fire pace of covering this air conditioner disaster. Mike takes a breath and smiles at Diane - this is what they live for.

MIKE

And we cut from this breaking news for an exclusive conversation with Sharon Windsor, the CMO of Air Corp. Thanks for coming on, Sharon.

SHARON

(on the phone)

Hi Mike, Diane.

MIKE

Sharon, is it true that your company, Air Corp, originated the idea for "Take In Your Air Conditioner Day", or TIYAC day, as it's being called on Twitter?

INT. SHARON'S CAR

A rare look of delight sweeps over Sharon's face. Trending on social media. Not bad, Joe.

SHARON

It absolutely is, Mike. Now let me tell you why.

DIANE

(on phone)

First, can I ask, does Air Corp have a plan to make amends with the casualties from today?

Sharon is silent for a moment. Her face stiffens.

SHARON

Casualties?

MIKE

(on phone)

This is not a joking matter, Sharon.

INT. WZBX RADIO NEWSROOM - THE STUDIO

SHARON

(on phone)

What is going on here?

Diane and Mike grin at each other like vultures. They've got her now.

DIANE

If you truly don't know, Sharon, what we've been hearing this past hour, I'll recap.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET

We look out over the city in chaos. Shots of the dead, the injured, the fearful. People leaning out of their windows, terrified by what they've allowed to happen.

DIANE

(V.O.)

Since your so-called "Take In Your Air Conditioner Day" began one hour ago, we have received over 400 reports of air conditioner related injuries. The air conditioners are falling to the street as people try to take them out of their windows, Sharon. There have been twenty confirmed deaths so far. The mayor is in the hospital. And, to everyone listening, the city of New York has put out an official warning: do not remove your air conditioner until further notice. Do not touch any air conditioners, especially Air Corp models, or the windows around them.

INT. QUAINT NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT

A quaint apartment filled with lace. A woman (80s) picks up a porcelain elephant from its perch on her Air Corp air conditioner.

SHARON

(V.O.)

Surely, you can't hold Air Corp responsible for whatever is going on.

The woman keeps one hand on the AC unit as she lifts the window. It's a little sticky, she has to tug at it.

DIANE

(V.O.)

Surely, we can. Tell us, does Air Corp have research on the safety of installing and removing its window units?

SHARON

(V.O.)

I - I'm sure we do.

With a final tug, the window springs open. The sounds of sirens and screams pour in from the street.

DIANE

(V.O.)

And, if Air Corp knows about these risks, why would your company urge so many people to try uninstalling them on their own?

Before the woman can even think about reacting, the AC is already falling down to the street. We see her face as the shock sets in. She drops the porcelain elephant. It shatters on the floor.

INT. SHARON'S CAR

SHARON

I...

Sharon's phone line goes dead. She hears the flat tone. She's been disconnected.

INT. WZBX RADIO NEWSROOM - THE STUDIO

MIKE

Sorry to interrupt, Diane. Breaking news. We have just received word that the Mayor has passed away at Mount Sinai. I repeat, the mayor of New York has died from an air conditioner related injury. Everything we know about this developing story, coming up, after the break.

Mike and Diane put their mics off air. An ad begins to play. It opens with an OPTIMISTIC MARIMBA TUNE that ducks under a voiceover.

AIR CORP ADVERTISEMENT VOICEOVER

(V.O.)

You know Air Corp is always here to keep you cool. That's what we've been doing since 1965...

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET

We pan across a street totally destroyed by the morning's events. From high up, we zoom very slowly to a corner shop.

AIR CORP ADVERTISEMENT VOICEOVER

(V.O.)

But, what about our planet? Isn't it time we cooled the Earth down, too?

On the street, a woman cradles an unconscious man in her arms. The man has a big gouge in the back of his skull. The woman is leaning against the Air Corp air conditioner that caused this. We can't hear her over the ad music, but she's wailing, "Help. Help us."

AIR CORP ADVERTISEMENT VOICEOVER

(V.O.)

That's why Air corp is sponsoring the very first national Take In Your Air Conditioner Day. Now that the weather's cool, taking your air conditioner in can remove the temptation to use it when a fan might work just as well. And keeping your window closed will insulate your home, saving you money on heating.

The camera reaches the corner store. Joe stands under the same awning where we last saw him. He's petrified.

AIR CORP ADVERTISEMENT VOICEOVER

(V.O.)

Now that sounds like a great deal for our planet - and for us. Air Corp. Keeping it cool since 1965. We can see the reflection of the ruined street in Joe's eyes. He starts to cry.

THE END